Personal Conduct to Minimize Violence

Follow these suggestions in your daily interactions with people to de-escalate potentially violent situations. If at any time a person's behavior starts to escalate beyond your comfort zone, disengage.

• Project calmness: move and speak slowly, quietly and confidently.
• Be an empathetic listener: encourage the person to talk and listen patiently.
• Focus your attention on the other person to let them know you are interested in what they have to say.
• Maintain a relaxed yet attentive posture and position yourself at a right angle rather than directly in front of the other person.
• Acknowledge the person's feelings. Indicate that you can see he or she is upset.
• Ask for small, specific favors such as asking the person to move to a quieter area.
• Establish ground rules if unreasonable behavior persists. Calmly describe the consequences of any violent behavior.
• Use delaying tactics which will give the person time to calm down. For example, offer a drink of water (in a disposable cup).
• Be reassuring and point out choices. Break big problems into smaller, more manageable problems.
• Accept criticism in a positive way. When a complaint might be true, use statements like "You're probably right" or "It was my fault." If the criticism seems unwarranted, ask clarifying questions.
• Ask for his recommendations. Repeat back to him what you feel he is requesting of you.
• Arrange yourself so that a visitor cannot block your access to an exit.

Do Not

• Use styles of communication which generate hostility such as apathy, brush off, coldness, condescension, robotism, going strictly by the rules or giving the run-around.
• Reject all of a client's demands from the start.
• Pose in challenging stances such as standing directly opposite someone, hands on hips or crossing your arms.
• Avoid any physical contact, finger-pointing or long periods of fixed eye contact.
• Make sudden movements which can be seen as threatening. Notice the tone, volume and rate of your speech.
• Challenge, threaten, or dare the individual. Never belittle the person or make him/her feel foolish.
• Criticize or act impatiently toward the agitated individual.
• Attempt to bargain with a threatening individual.
• Try to make the situation seem less serious than it is.
• Make false statements or promises you cannot keep.
• Try to impart a lot of technical or complicated information when emotions are high.
• Take sides or agree with distortions.
• Invade the individual's personal space. Make sure there is a space of 3' to 6' between you and the person.